Why I removed the Imagined series
by rhinestonecowboy
Summary: Why I took down my stories and a reminder to folks about predatory cyber users and cyber bullying.


**As a conscientious hiker or steward might do on a trail, I'm posting a "watch for poison oak" style missive on this part of the Fan Fiction site about the predatory behavior and cyber bullying I've encountered here recently.**

Please note that I am not able to filter reviews for this post from established reviewers. So just because someone leaves a positive review on this post, it does not mean they are 'legit.' In fact I know of a couple IDs that are not legit and participated here and now, but I cannot remove them without reporting it as abuse to the site, and to do so actually opens me up to problems. Knowing something is true and 'proving' it are two different things. Keep that in mind, everyone.

Based on a negative experience with other users, I have removed my stories from the site permanently.

Over the course of 6 months I developed this mini series of sorts on the Last Tango Fan Fiction site. It seemed to do well, and what initially appeared to be a community of reviewers for the three stories became active. As a new author this was encouraging.

I interacted with each of the reviewers as though he or she were, as purported, a unique user. I have come to believe that many, many of these reviewers are in fact the same person or person(s), who have in some form or another established multiple identities / user names on the site for the purpose of engaging in misleading interactions with authors and other users of the site.

Rather early in the process a couple of the active reviewers sent me PMs. We had a few interesting PM conversations, and after a while one of the 'identities,' as I will refer to them, asked to exchange emails. After a couple months PMing with this user, I agreed to exchange non-site related emails.

I became that person on the news: where we all shake our head and say, "What a fool, what was she thinking!" Indeed: a maneuver that in this day and age was unbelievably naïve. I shared far too many personal details, and this was truly foolish on my part. But to err is human, and I won't let my feeling that I should have known better silence me or prevent me from acting as a cautionary tale. Nor will I stop being a trusting individual. I have friends who have been in abusive relationships; smart, strong women who ended up making choices they knew they should not have. The first mistake is to think that we are not capable of making mistakes, and the second is to pretend that we never made those mistakes; thereby encouraging ourselves and others into silence.

But making a mistake is not consent to be manipulated or bullied, which is what happened.

I had a unsettling email exchange with one of these identities recently, wherein it was revealed (accidently or on purpose I am not sure) that she/he had been forwarding on, without my consent, my emails to another person; who was in fact abusive in her language in response. I had / have no idea how many of my communications were forwarded on to one or more undisclosed third parties.

At this point I asked to cease / modify contact. At this point I also stepped back with fresh eyes, and with help of a trusted friend, began to analyze interactions on the site, within the review community, and within the stories published on the site.

* * *

The following themes emerged as tactics used to create a relationship based on misrepresentation:

Tactic One: When asking to connect outside the site, She / He / They (I have no way to verify any pronoun identifying information) applied no pressure, and even volunteered that I could check out a Facebook page and a professional work page as a legitimizing factors verifying identity and larger community standing.

Tactic Two: She / He / They also referred me on to two other reviewers whom he/she knew I had interacted with as a sort of 'third party verification.' While more of a 'supporting evidence' style of legitimizing this identity, it added to a false sense of trust.

Tactic Three: At a few junctures some of the reviews on my stories became a bit passive aggressive; some were direct and mildly or overtly mean spirited. I did not filter the reviews at all, as I support free and open dialog. I have since come to believe that at least a portion of those negative reviews were posted disingenuously as a tactic to groom my state of mind for interactions with these cyber bullies. (This is how I have categorized them in my life as a way to give the experience a shape and a name).

Tactic Four: She / He / They has/have established, and I think continues to use and establish, multiple identities on the site as different authors (publishing multiple stories) and users. I believe this same person interacted with me pretending to be one or more different authors on the site.

Tactic Five: After I ceased contact with the primary identity, I was approached by another 'clean' identity about connecting offline. I declined, and received a response that clearly indicated that this 'different' identity was in fact the same person I had previously been interacting with. I had been interacting with this person all along as though he/she was unique, and in fact he/she was not; this person was simply the same user trying to establish a separate engagement.

Tactic Six: This person / persons appears to by publishing across multiple story sites and genres in fan fiction. Be aware (logically, I suppose), that this person(s) activity may not be limited to the community on Last Tango.

What is the impact of this? Why is it / was it unhealthy? What's very wrong with this scenario was the lack of consent and the misrepresentation. My personal information, thoughts, and experiences were shared without my consent both in private emails and I believe as portions of other stories on this site. Additionally, this person or persons was consciously manipulating my experience to believe that one thing was happening, when in fact there was another reality going on altogether of which I was completely unaware. In the end, I am unable to know who on the Fan Fiction site is 'real,' and who is simply another false identity created by this person.

It's not a long trip to envision outcomes where that lack of consent and misrepresentation might have much more serious and damaging outcomes than a fledgling author needing to remove her stories from the public domain.

* * *

 **Summary**  
(AKA, 'duh' modes of operation on the internet I should have taken more seriously):

Never assume that separate identities on this site or others are, in fact, separate identities. The same person or persons may be using multiple identities to create a false 'reality' or community that is intentionally manipulative or a misrepresentation. I am aware of at least 6-10 very suspect identities currently active here on the LTIH site.

Never disclose personal information to people you have not met in person! Ha, that's so obvious, right? And of course unhealthy behavior is not limited to the internet. But we can all use another ounce of prevention.

Be inherently suspicious of those offering disproportionate levels of praise and/or criticism.

* * *

 **Resources**

If in this venue, on other sites, or if in your life you have been subject to interactions that surpass what you gave consent to engage in, I hope you will seek out resources to address and stop the engagement, and to understand the effect the experience had on you.

In the vast majority of cases, the following are healthy and effective ways to deal with the situation. There are many more resources to address and cope with this experience available on the internet, or via local community services.

1\. Talk about what is happening. Ask for help. Do not become isolated from friends or family. Tell people what is going on and seek support. Allow your strong and healthy relationships to keep you strong and healthy as well.

2\. Stop engaging with the person(s) immediately. Any form of response can be misconstrued as interest or consent by the person who is trying to engage you: even a second or third 'please stop contacting me' is the wrong message to send. Do not respond even when a message appears to be contrite or corrective.

3\. If you feel (or have been explicitly) threatened or fear for your safety or others', contact the authorities immediately. Always report abuse or threats of any kind to site administrators or email providers. It is far better to make a report and let a professional assess the situation than to dismiss your own instincts.

* * *

Having worked for 20 years in the non-profit advocacy community, I understand that people who have less than philanthropic intentions will seek in some way to silence you; whether that is via self-doubt, embarrassment, fear of consequences, or separating you from supporting resources (among other tactics).

I also understand that silence does not protect you. Nor does it protect others who may find themselves confronting the same people; others who may in fact be more vulnerable. To date I have had a disturbing, but not destructive experience with all of this. I hope it does not become destructive, and I'm not sure what the response to this post will be. But I do know that I felt compelled to speak out.

Given the above you can understand why I may not necessarily respond to your PM. I will be maintaining this ID in order to prevent it being used by others, but I will not be publishing under it again on the fan fiction site. Nor will I respond to requests to re-post the stories, or send copies of the stories to readers.

Safe, happy, healthy, and joyous travels everyone. All in all I still can't believe what a great experience I've had writing these stories and how blessed I am as an individual. I am happy, healthy, open, trusting, and smiling to this day - and you can be 100% sure that I will continue to write!  
Best, RSC


End file.
